Chvilkova strata sebavedomia

Pri rannom pohlade do zrkadla sa zamyslam, ci by sa to nedalo niecim vylepsit. Dam sa ostrihat. Vecer znova pozeram na svoj odraz v zrkadle s novym ucesom. Nie je to vobec zle, ale nie je to ani lepsie. Na chvilu sa prelaknem. Hned si ale uvedomim, ze ak je raz nieco perfektne, vylepsovat sa to uz neda. Spokojnost je razom nazad. :) 

Ja...

UN is different and so are our toilettes ;)

This topic is a bit out of range of my specialization, but it has been resonating in my head for so long that I simply could not resist writing. Ever since I remember, my life has been here connected to toilettes. Well, that is somehow …. natural :). But also in another ways. I have been through many occasions at hotels or other facilities, where I had to repair a toilette or it was doing something else that it was supposed to. I guess one of the first notions of a rest room in my texts was my experience from Malta, where the rest room was so small that I had to use it with the door open. To complete the picture I must say that it was at a hostel with 20 other guys around. Since then I somehow pay more attention to toilettes as such. While working for UNDP I traveled through several offices and seen quite a few rest rooms.

Recently the rest rooms in our office were renovated. Nice tiles, large mirrors and all the nice things that a modern toilette must have. There was also something unusual there for an office toilette A nice ceramic plate. Pretty decent piece of art. Something that you see in luxurious hotel toilettes with rose leafs or a nice smelling colored wood. Wow, I did not expect that. I was proud about our rest rooms, but only for less than 24 hours. The very next day the plate was filled with condoms. Just like a kid expecting super toy under the Christmas tree and finding a pair of red socks at the bottom of the box. It was that day, when I started realizing it is not just our office. Rest rooms across offices (at least those, which I have seen) are indeed very similar. So what makes our toilettes so special? Where others have rose leafs, we have condoms. But not just condoms, we also have woman condoms. I must admit that I have never seen anything like that and I guess I don’t even want. But that is not all. Where others have nice smell or towels, we have hand sanitizers. Just like if it wanted to indicate something. Some toilettes also have nice and funny adds, which make your short stay there a bit more pleasant, but not those in UN. We have guides on how to wash your hands properly. Currently we have nice educational poster, which explains me, in my intimate moment, how many people live with HIV and that not talking about it is a bad thing. I admit that these facts are important (no jokes about that), but with my pants down I have different staff to do. I wonder if I should count this to my 5% of learning time.

And how to conclude this ? I think I will leave this topic just as it is. The more I would write, the worse it would get. May be just a disclaimer: All of this was for fun and not to offend anyone. I do appreciate the work of our colleagues and their effort to our well being. I just could not resist pointing out that we simply are different ;)

Ikonka SAVE (Ulozit) by uz potrebovala modernizaciu

Pred nejakym casom sa moja mala hrala na pocitaci a kreslila si obrazky. Ja si tieto jej vytvory odkladam a pridavam si k nim datumy. Asi to nepredam ako raritu z detstva slavnej spevacky, ale snad raz budeme sediet spolu pri pohari vinka a budem jej hovorit “vidis, takto ‘nadherne’ si kresila, ked si mala 5 rokov”. Kreslenie jej ide a tiez jej idu pocitace. Je to dobre. V zivote to bude potrebovat. Ked uz teda dokreslila, chcel som, aby svoje dielo ulozila. Tak jej vravim, nech klikne na tu disketku, co ako vsetci vieme, je ikonka pre ukladanie suborov. No vsetci asi nie. Jej pohlad naznacoval jasnu volu nasledovat moje instrukcie, ale jednemu slovu z tej vety zjavne nerozumela. Disketa. Terezka ma 5 rokov a disketu asi nikdy nevidela. A ak aj videla, tak ju nevidela v akcii. Na rozdiel od CD-cka, DVD-cka, ci USB-kluca, jej slovo disketa nic nehovori. Dievca je to sikovne. Casom sa nauci, ako asi vyzera ikonka na ukladanie suborov a vobec jej to nepride divne. Kazdopadne by sa vsak softverovi vyvojari mali asi zamysliet nad dizajnom znamej to ikonky “save”.

Kym pocitace pred par sto rokmi pouzivali na svojich drevenych monitoroch ikonku truhlice, dnes je to znama disketa a v buducnosti to bude, v zavislosti od vierovyznania bud velke pismenko “G”, alebo nahryznute jablcko. A zmeni sa aj text pod ikonkou. Namiesto “save” (ulozit) tam bude “submit” (odoslat). Ale to uz je z inej rozpravky.

Ked zlava 10 percent nestaci

Zapocuval som sa do jednej reklamy (obcas sa mi to stane) a dokonca som zacal rozmyslat nad tym, aku uzasnu akciu mi tam ponukaju. Obchod s elektrom pri prilezitosti svojho vyrocia chcel svojich zakaznikov odmenit uzasnou akciou. Kto by cakal darceky, ci nieco navyse asi bude sklamany. Bola to zlava 20%. Ale nie hocijaka. Najskor si bolo treba kupit hocijaky vyrobok v hodnote nad 400 EUR a na dalsi vyrobok, ten lacnejsi, dostanete zlavu 20%. No nie je to parada? Ozivil som matematicke schopnosti z detstva a zacal som rozmyslat, aku zlavu mi to vlastne dali. Zacnime teda prvym vyrobkom za 400 EUR. To aby sme neminali zbytocne vela. Aby zlava z toho druheho bola co najvyssia a pritom to bolo lacnejsie ako ten prvy vyrobok, ten druhy by mal stat 399 EUR. Ak to zaokruhlim, tak som vydal 800 EUR a z polovice som dostal 20% zlavu. Inak povedane, dostal som 10% zlavu. V realite treba do rovnice zapocitat este ine faktory. Napriklad to, ze co vlastne z toho obchodu potrebujem. Ja som veru este nevyberal v obchode stylom “neviem co chcem, ale malo by to stat cez 400 EUR”. Navyse ta zlava je maximalne 10%. Cim je totiz vacsi rozdiel medzi cenami tych dvoch vyrobkov, tym mensia ta zlava je. Ak teda kupite nieco za 2000 EUR a k tomu nieco za 100 EUR, tak vasa zlava bude celych 0,9 %. No nekup to. Verim, ze sa im ludia hrnu do obchodu v hufoch, aby spolu oslavili toto krasne vyrocie.

Nechce sa ti zhasnut svetlo ?

Nechce sa ti zhasnut svetlo? To je veta, ktora vo mne podporuje rebeliu a aspon raz neklamat a povedat pravdu. Nechce. Ved komu by sa chcelo. Som tvor od prirodzenia lenivy a a urcite nehladam zalubu v zhasinani svetla, noseni poharov, odnasani tanierov alebo vysavani. To vsak nic nemeni na tom, ze to samozrejme urobim. Ani nie s radostou, ale urcite nie s odporom. Urobim to, pretoze mi to neprekaza a snad to tomu cloveku pomoze v tej jeho lenivosti, ci pohodlnosti. Raz som lenivy ja, inokedy ty. Ta spravna odpoved by potom znela nechce sa mi, ale urobim to. Ale skuste doma niekedy odpovedat na otazku pravdou - "milacik, nechce sa ti priniest mi pohar vody?". V tom momente mate minimalne o diskusiu postarane. Moze to dopadnu vselijako. Ci iba jemnym podstuchavanim typu to ako si myslel, ze sa ti nechce? az do extremneho Tak ja sa tu o teba staram, varim ti, zadok ti obskakujem, ale mlademu panovi je zatazko priniest mi pohar vody? Vies co, nechaj tak. Pojdem si pren sama. Zvysok toho povodne pohodoveho vecera si uz radsej predstavovat ani nebudem.

Davajte si preto pozor, ked nabuduce dostanete zaludnu otazku typu Nechce sa ti skocit so smetami?, aby ste si pravdou nepokazili vecer. Radsej chytte kybel so smetim a rychlo s nim vyskocte. A nezabudnite sa usmievat. To aby bolo vidiet, ze sa vam chcelo.